Providing Solutions to Your Problems
This page is an expansion of what Life Coaching ‘is’, ‘who’ it can help and ‘how’ and ‘why’ it helps …
When I was younger people told me they worked in IT, and I had no clue what this was or meant, after inquiring I discovered it meant they worked in Information and Technology. Problem was I still had no clue what this was or meant! So I appreciate that some people find the term Life Coaching extremely vague, I could write a 10,000 word dossier but then you would not read it! So, here is a brief overview as a middle ground, to help:
What is Life Coaching?
Some people feel their ‘experience‘ of life in a particular area, is something they are not happy with and they want to change it, sometimes desperately. However they do not know ‘how’ to do this. This is where someone called a Life Coach could help you.
In essence Life Coaching is made up of 2 parts, 1 is being a Coach and the other is Life.
A Coach is someone who, through their wisdom, experience, knowledge and expertise in a particular area ‘Coaches’ or mentors another who wishes to emulate a similar skill-set or Success, or, make changes in a particular area.
Life as you know is made up of individual contexts including, but not limited to, the physical, emotional, intellectual, financial, career, relationships and so forth.
So a Life Coach is someone who ‘Coaches’ another individual in a particular area of ‘Life’, to make empowering improvements, in that area, such as losing weight and maintaining that weight loss, improving confidence and presentation, disabling FEAR’s and phobias, improving their health, increasing their financial income, better relations with loved ones, manage Stress levels, overcoming ‘anything’ that holds them back etc…
I personally describe this as a achieving a ‘Better Quality of Life’.
Life Coaching is not positive thinking. It is not just telling you what to do. It is not random. It is not intrusive. It is not friendship and it is not relinquishing control.
Life Coaching IS supportive, it IS nudging, it IS guiding, it IS needling, it IS intervention, it IS strategy, it IS revealing, it IS empowering and it IS definitely Effective.
Life Coaching can be an Intensive, Focused and Effective means to achieve a CHANGE – if – you have the right Coach…a competent Coach’s role is to discover what your goal / outcome / objective is in a particular context, then to hold your hand and walk you through the stages of change that would be required to get you from that A to that B, so to speak.
The right Coach – for you – is akin to the right employee working for you in your business as an analogy. People have to click, people have to trust, so your Coach must be able to ‘enter your world‘ and you must have a sense of certainty that they can and will be able to help you. Thus, you need to hit it off with the Coach form the start.
There must be Chemistry.
There can be no degree of dissociation between you and the Coach, as with the chicken crossing the road riddle you either cross – or you stay, any attempt to just try means you will get run over!
With that in mind, note that there are buckets full of so called Coaches out there that will not offer a no change – no fee arrangement. Why? Because they likely don’t have the experience themselves in their own lives. Nothing worse that hiring a Personal Trainer who is not is great shape themselves! Or a financial adviser who does not have their own financial security!
A Coach must have real life experience, not in a class room setting and a paper certificate. I personally would not hire a plumber to only attempt to fix a problem and still pay them for their time if they didn’t fix it, nor would I pay for a meal in a restaurant if they brought to the table a different meal to that which I ordered. Would you? And so it is true with Coaching I believe.
Ensure the Coach you entrust has experience in the real world, and can show that proof to you.
A Life Coach is also different from a therapist in that a Coach works on a future tense, a therapist, traditionally, works on a past and present tense. For example if someone had a problem with their level of confidence, a therapist would be most interested in why this is the case and so would delve in to the past of the individual to abstract the answer. Their interest is in the why.
A Coach by contrast is mostly concerned with the future of the individual, ie: your currently not confident enough, so how much confidence do you want to have? Then as a Coach allow me to lead you, to, that, point / future. A Coach is interested in the what / how much / when etc…
This is not to say Coaches are better than therapists because that is not true and would be a distorted statement. It is all subjective of course, I merely wanted to explain some main differences to help those that would ask this question. Both Coaches and therapists have value – in the appropriate context.
In short, an effective and competent Life Coach will find out where you are ( present tense ) in a particular area / context of Life and then find out where you want to be going forwards ( future tense ). The Coach will then, if competent enough, draw a line between that present and that future and hold your hand walking across that line together Successfully.
Why Life Coaching Could Help People
We all have within us 2 things:
On a Conscious level we all have desires, goals, dreams, wishes, hopes, wants etc…
… and on an Unconscious level we all have beliefs, values, rules, basically, software that is the ‘program’ by which we automatically follow routine, dictating almost all of our behaviours and feelings.
The challenge is that a lot of people find that there Conscious desires – do not match the Unconscious programming that takes them in a particular direction effortlessly each and every day.
Hence the problem. Trying to make a change while there is this conflict is futile medium or long term.
It is easy to change short term because that is what, in part, you Conscious mind is there for and why we have free will. The ‘freedom’ to use our inherent ‘will’ to change virtually anything behaviour or emotion oriented is within our capability to do successfully for a short while ( only ).
Before your Unconscious notices somewhat significant ‘potential’ problems with the new direction you are temporarily going in, which conflicts with the present tense hard wire programming, thus steps in and you have suddenly, without wanting to, somehow ’given up’ or pulled back or directly sabotaged your efforts.
Your Unconscious is simply and effectively following its programming. Just so you know the Unconscious does not think per say subjectively. That is Conscious. Your Unconscious only thinks objectively, ie: if the new behaviour does not fit the programming – delete / reject it.
A competent Coach will be able to help you identify very clearly, what is it you desire, then, re-jig your Unconscious programming ( yes this can be changed! ) to reflect, align and comply with your desired goal.
Once this alignment takes place changes often occur at lighting like speed because every part of you is now working together NOT – in conflict, to reach a single objective outcome – your goal.
In essence – I Coach people to Un-lock their own potential to allow them to move forward ( not backward, sideways or stagnate ) in the direction of their desired outcome.
Who can be helped through Life Coaching?
I primarily Coach High End Executives to ensure a Successful work / home life balance that creates synergy and harmony, not conflict. I also enhance and nurture their peak performance, to absorb the stress and pressure they will go through and to counteract the isolation their position may entail. To enhance their presence within the organisation they are the CEO of. As an example, C level executives incur a lot of business meeting hours and subsequently need extra support with their physical body and nutrition.
Sitting down a lot is not conducive to peak levels of Health! Relaxation also needs to be provided and managed to balance out the negatives otherwise the crucial balance between that aforementioned peak performance – and a crash – disappears.
Peak performance is defined mathematically as the individual working as close to maximum as possible, without, burning out. This has to be managed otherwise! Akin to a car engine at its very maximum revolutions counter in the instrument panel, you can stay close to this ‘red’ area but just a little too much and wham bam engine blow! In less demanding jobs the stress level can be far from the red, but for Executives and especially C – level Executives, the stress and demands are bordering the red on the revolutions counter. Constantly.
Remember the higher up you are or go, the higher the demands and thus, the higher ( to ensure balance ) the rest, relaxation, recuperation, regeneration and requirements are too.
A lot of High End Executives use the services of a Life Coach as they are apt at effectively supporting the Executive, just like the executives PA manages the itinerary ( amongst other responsibilities ) for the Executive, a Life Coach manages the Executives mental, emotional and physical states. Allowing for that peak – performance I was eluding to earlier.
In short, I Coach people who want to – break phobias, who want more confidence, who want to earn more money, who want to overcome limitations, who want to overcome fears, who want to succeed in business, who want more intimacy in their relationship, who want to improve their health, who want to permanently lose weight, who want to stop smoking, who want to feel more happiness day to day, who want to stop being shy or nervous, who want to change their career, who want to get over the loss of a loved one, who want emotional guidance and support, who want to change debilitating habits, who want to stop feeling depressed, who want to break an addiction, who is seeking fulfilment in Life but can’t find it and so on …
In essence – anyone in any capacity that is looking for a change in their Emotions or their Behaviours, or both, in any context within Life and they are maybe struggling to make that change, alone.
Please know that all communication with me is in the Absolute Strictest of Confidence and Privacy should you wish to get in touch.
To a BETTER QUALITY of Life …